Cathartic

Oh no, you aren’t going to cry,
Oh no, you aren’t going to cry
I told myself a hundred times
I told myself a thousand times
As tears kept dropping from my eyes
As tears kept pouring from my eyes…

And then remembered were the nights
When tears were to be relief,
The savior from pain so deep
It felt my heart would tear!
And in the dark I wished to weep
                              To make him, yes, to make him hear.

But then the tears stayed inside
Inside, corroding heart and soul
Till all was left was just a hole
And through that hole they fell
It burnt; it hurt, oh yes indeed
But then you grow accustomed
And then you see there is no need
To show the void and fluster
And then you stop.
There is no more.
No crying, no despair…
Just subtle recognition that
There’s nothing left for him to tear.
I thought I’d won the battle, I thought I’d won the war
But then he’d resurrected
                                So that was proven wrong.

Oh no, I wasn’t going to cry,
Oh no, I really didn’t cry
Those everlasting, horrid nights
When not a single glimpse of light
Would penetrate the fears
The void within my heart which tears
Could now no longer seal
The damage made was so severe
                                I could no longer feel.

I stare and stare and stare and stare
And there is no redemption…
I only wish that one last tear
                               Could one last time be shed …